“Is this some kind of a joke Luckmeister? Taking the KLunkers? Seriously?” “Yes mate its double demerits so we have to be a bit careful this time and, besides, the other lads are happy enough to slow down this week and so can we. C’mon whadya say?” “I think it’s all a bit tragic really if you must know but I just want to ride somewhere so I’m in” Now with that in mind six riders: Nige, Scrounger, Keys, Keys mate Gary, DD, and Lucky headed off last Thursday for an overnighter in Bathurst.
So far so good
Still looking good you two
Rubbing One Out
An expression that confused us all I think. On arrival at the Knickerbocker Pub we all agreed to wash some of the dirt and dust off before drinking. All except Nige of course. “Where you blokes goin’? Gonna rub one out are yers?” Now, I didn’t bring a blackboard along and I knew he knew that so I asked Keys what he meant. “Dunno Lucky but I hope it doesn’t take long because I could do with a beer.” Neither of us wanted to appear unworldly so we bluffed our way past Nige. “Yep I’m off to rub one out and I wont take long ’cause I’m pretty good at it” Said Keys with a false sense of confidence. ” Yeah I just rubbed one out then as a matter of fact” Added Lucky “And I’ll be rubbing them out all over the place later, you just wait and see” Nige gave us one of his head tilt looks and muttered “Pass”
Will I tell them? Nuh.
The Knickerbocker
Actually well above our usual standards and reasonably priced. DD could hardly believe the advanced technology. “Hey fellas my room’s got air conditioning and television. It’s like living on the Starship Enterprise here. Hey, I spotted an elevator back there too so I might have a few goes on that. It’s a ripper”
Set Fazers to stun Mr Sulu.
Drinking
There was beer. There’s always beer. We drank some of it. It was delicious.
I love beer. I love it more than anyone else in the whole world.
A Moonlit Stroll
At some point after dinner we all agreed it would be a great idea to find somewhere we could have dessert. Off we went in orderly fashion and eventually stumbled on Alice’s Ice Cream Emporium. Look, despite the calories, the ice cream was just the perfect end to a lovely evening. Even Nige treated himself to a choc-mint which was very unlike him ” Scrounger, Gary, you blokes having one” He asked. Caught unawares Scrounger hastily replied “As soon as I rub one off mate “Gary immediately corrected him. “Out Scrounger. You rub them out, not off” “Allright, o.k. Off?, out?, Is that an important element to the procedure do you think? You know, whatever the procedure might be.” Looking tired Gary said ” Mate, it seems to me it would be and I don’t want to look stupid in front of your club president so let’s keep pretending we know what he’s talking about.” ” Agreed” said Scrounger.
Scrounger checking Wikipedia for Out or Off. Gary not sure either.
I love ice cream heaps more than Nige does.
Scrounger’s New Bike
It’s red and I think he bought it on the way to Maccas Thursday morning. Its probably sold by now. A pity because it went rather well. I look forward to his next one.
Not sure if I like it in red though.
Breakfast at the Knickerbocker
Hot and big. The cook was a lovely lady who really rubbed one out for us next morning. Not sure if that’s exactly correct but it could mean that.
Lucky’s Fall
Very unusual for Lucky to fall down but there you go. Circumstances however conspired against Lucky that day. An agricultural sprayer sent a tsunami of water into his path and, after surfing through it, looked up to find the road had turned right and he was skating straight ahead on freshly cut grass towards a barbed wire fence. Mustering years of skill and training, Lucky did the impossible and pulled up just short of the wire. The boys following couldn’t believe their eyes.
“That was brilliant Lucky” said Gary
” You’re an absolute genius Lucky” said another
“I wish I was you Lucky”
“I know, everyone does” commented Lucky humbly.
Nige, who was out front at the time and had just arrived after the man-made miracle, wanted to know what happened.
“I was rubbing one out Nige when I was hit by cold water. It seemed to slow me down a bit”
“Yeah it probably would” giggled Nige with a wry smile that none of us understood.
Not a scratch
Home
Hugs and kisses again at Jerry’s accompanied by a lovely coffee and a quick Google of “Rubbing one out”. It was not what we thought it was. It was not even close to what we thought it was. I wish I hadn’t thanked that nice cook for “….rubbing one out for all of us”. We just went home.
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