Nearly To Bright. A Friendly Ride Through Victoria. April 2013.
“Morning fellas. Hey listen,are we going to Bright on this ride? Cos that’d be bonzer and we never quite got there last time remember?” asked DD excitedly Monday morning at Maccas West Gosford.
“Yep DD, it’s definitely in our travel plans. Don’t you worry about that.” Replied Mohawk with a sly grin and a knowing nod to Lucky who could barely contain his amusement.
“Yes mate I can’t wait either. Should be great” Lucky added hiding his wide-mile grin behind a half eaten slice of raisin toast. It’s great when two blokes know the third will soon feel the bitter taste of disappointment. All DD ever wanted to do was ride the roads around Bright and we knew that. We also knew it was never going to happen.
“Fantastic fellas. Thanks a lot. It really means a lot to me.”
Bright, Bright, Bright, Bright, Ima comin’. This time for sure.
And so we three: Mohawk, Lucky, and DD headed towards Wisemans Ferry on day one of our southern adventure. Bell’s Line was quiet and a great rush up to Mt Victoria for fuel and a coffee. Here we met one of the fattest humans I have ever seen. This man, a likeable character who seemed to sweat cholesterol, held court in the Caltex cafe amidst the scattered remains of a hundred donuts and vanilla slices. I thought we might see Princess Leia chained to his leg but she wasn’t. He rode a green KLunkeR just like Lucky’s so I think that’s why we were allowed to live.
He’s just behind that glass.
We continued on down through Oberon and had a quick stop at the side of the road so Mohawk could relieve himself. The skies had cleared which allowed for some postcard style photography.
Look at me Lucky. I’m putting out a bushfire!!
We arrived in Tarago for a night at the Loaded Dog Hotel. We were very tired from our big ride so nobody stayed up late. “We’ll be bringin’ youse out some food later” The publican told us after we’d had our first of a very few beers. “Did she mean some menus with an extensive list of various local delicacies?” Lucky whispered to DD not sure what was happening. “Dunno mate, but I’ll bet it’s a ripper of a meal. Hey listen, what time do you think we’ll get to Bright tomorrow?”
Anyway the “food” did turn up. It was meat and vegetables and it was definitely food.
Yeah my mate Moey knows the way to Bright. Oh boy O boy.
Inside The Loaded Dog. The ‘food’ came from over there somewhere.
Apart from the ‘food’ issues however the pub was great. $40 got us our own rooms with enough beds in each to billet a small battalion and the toilet facilities were clean and heaps of hot water. We’ll stay there again I think.
Lucky’s room at the Loaded Dog. Comfy eh.
Next morning was cold but the skies had cleared after heavy rain overnight. The roads were wet and slippery though and the steep ride down from the tablelands to the coast near Batemans Bay was taken with some unusual caution. “Is that Bright over there?” “No David, that’s Batemans Bay. Settle down please.” Mohawk replied sternly.”Sorry Brian, I’m a little hyped up on decaff this morning.” “Allright, allright but just remember your manners young fellow. After all, you’re out”
We crossed into Victoria some time later after riding through Delegate and down the Bonang Highway. A wet dirt section in the middle saw Mohawk and DD like two schoolkids squealing in the playground. “Oh what fun this is. Cmon Lucky go faster….blah blah…wheels turn fast..gyroscopic..blah blah..wont fall down.No way” See, the thing is, those two ride bikes that predate the Bronze Age so didn’t care if they fell down whereas Lucky rides a thing with a real internal combustion engine and wasn’t about to give in to peer pressure. “You two will have me smoking cigarettes next” He muttered when he finally caught them back on the sealed section.
After the dirt section with about 60k of lovely twisties to come.
From here the road became magnificent. Hard turns left and right that left no one any chance to check out the scenery. Finally we arrived at the sign that indicated Bright was just a sniff away. Moey didn’t turn left. “Hey fellas you missed the turn. Fellas, hey fellas…” We could hear poor DD yelling and pleading over the sound of the road and engines and everything. It made the whole trip, dirt section and all, worth it. Mercy!!
Broken promises.
The Great Alpine Road was sensational. Would love to ride it a bit slower and stop every now and then because I’ve heard it is quite spectacular. As DD pointed out “Those Victorians do know how to build a road” And they do. We stayed in Orbost that night at quiet pub owned by an old Killarney vale boy. They served terrible Chinese food which came highly recommended from an emaciated drunken toothless bloke who was “Jush visnten from Souff Oshtraya” Old Gummy managed to chow down on that crap big time. The rooms however were very nice. Mohawk had a small bunk bed I believe whilst DD stood in a broom closet for the night. Lucky, on the other hand, was quite comfortable.
Lucky’s room in Orbost.
Actually the rooms were very nice and we all had a lovely sleep. One beer each.
Breakfast in Orbost was delightful actually. We then headed off towards Falls Creek. Not sure about that white pebbly looking road surface though. Didn’t seem to bother Mohawk who was all pumped up on his caramel latte from breakfast. I liked the signs on the orange plastic poles that lined the right hand edge of the road itself “STAY LEFT OF POLES” Given the sheer drop off of about ten thousand metres and no guard rail I thought this was sound advice.
It tasted better than it looked.
Falls Creek one day before the snows arrived. Lucky us.
Continuing on we landed in Tumut for the night. We met up with Scrounger and Jeremy. We liked Jeremy. He talked funny. He was an English man. I was disappointed because he never called us lads and I think he should have. He had ridden down on a brand new Harley something or other. Another Chinese meal which was better than the Orbost poisoning but not a lot better. A beer and bed time.
Look at these two. Jeremy about to learn a hard lesson about Australian backroads.
So next morning we headed north. Jeremy’s fuel tank was about the same size as his prostate so we needed to stop a few times for petrol. He complained long and hard. “My Orse is bloody sore lads” (He did say lads that one time.) All bent over in agony like that he looked as if he’d spent some tough nights in Long Bay with uninvited male company so we said nothing about his choice of ride.
A Harley Davistown I think.
On the way back near Frogmore
Onwards to Wyangla Dam. It had water in it. Pretty impressive in a watery kind of way.
Just a quick stop before heading off.
Arrived in Bathurst to find Mohawk’s rear tyre almost flat. Reflecting back on his questions about problems with steering geometry and suspension problems and a slipping clutch over the last two days were answered. The tyre was so low that the rims were spinning inside it under any kind of load. Luckily Lucky’s ‘Smartphone’ found a local dealer who could replece the tyre lickety split. “Do you reckon he’d notice if we left him and headed for home DD” Asked Lucky tentatively.
“Yeah but let’s go anyway Lucky. The other two have gone.”
“True but Moey has been pretty good to us so far. It seems a bit mean just to leave him here”
“OK Lucky we’ll toss a coin eh? Heads we stay, tails we skeedaddle”
“Right, you toss”
“Heads. Damn it. best out of three?”
Anyway we stayed and kept our good mate company. He was really pleased with his new tyre and how it fixed his steering, suspension and clutch all at the same time.
“I cant believe you two stayed DD. You’re real mates you know that” “Yeah never in doubt mate, as if we’d even think about that. It’s not on, not on I tellya”
Finally we left Bathurst. The ride home was nothing to talk about so I wont. Next time a ride to Bright. We promise. We are men of our words and our word means nothing.
Excellent report Lucky.
It sounds like you guys had a great time although I am VERY concerned about the (lack of) alcohol intake mentioned throughout.
Don’t tell me Mohawk’s ZRX has a slipper clutch when even the mighty Ninja doesn’t?
How many times did he check his chain and NOT check his tyre pressure? How were your tyre pressures Lucky?
Poor DD, he may NEVER see Bright and it’s such a lovely place. I have been there many, many times DD.
Yeah poor DD. Anyhoo, Moey checked his front tyre many a time and the pair of them became quite intimate. His rear tyre never rated a mention as I recall. Chain was well serviced throughout. Golden Boy’s pressures were down about 10psi for the whole trip as it turns out. Thought it felt a little heavier than usual. Slipper clutch and steering damper worked a treat though; especially coupled with the engine mode selection doodad.
I don’t know how Lucky scored all the best room at each stay and all the worst food. This little green duck was very chuffed with accommodation, food and companionship. Some of the best roads I have ever done, even with a deflating tyre for two days. Definitely part of Oz we should visit again and good to introduce Jeremy to the back passage ways of ‘stralia.
Excellent report Lucky, (or work of fiction???)
George Costanza once told Jerry Sienfeld “Remember Jerry it’s true if you believe it” and I like to model my reports on those words. To be honest the alleged picture of my room at Orbost may have been been Carole and my room at The Sir Stamford Circular Quay the week after the ride. It was all good though and thanks for organising the whole show. Those twisties on the Bonang nearly turned me inside out and I loved every minute of it.